New Bubbles

bubblesflame

As I sit soaking in my warm bubble bath I am reflecting on my life. This year I turn 50. This year I am no longer a mother of children. I am a mother of 3 adults. As my tub continues to fill I am not sure if I am comforted by the warm rising waters or if they symbolize my feelings of being overcome with emotions. I think it’s both. I have been an adult for 31 years… of those 31 years I have been a mom for 26.

26 prayerful, faithful, joyful, painful, beautiful years. As I type those adjectives I notice ful at the end… my life has been full! Full time wife, Full time mommy, Full time moooooom, Full time finder of all things, Full time family Uber, Full time internet researcher, Full time I’m in a bind helper outer.. you get the idea…full.

full 

adjective:containing or holding as much or as many as possible; having no empty space.”wastebaskets full of rubbish”

2 synonyms:

3 filled, filled up, filled to capacity, filled to the brim, brimming, brimful More

As I sit here listening to the bubbles pop, I feel like each pop is all the things I used to do. Popping, melting, turning my warm bubble bath back into water. But is it the same water as when I turned the spigot on and filled the tub? No, it’s cooler now, the popped bubbles have made the water softer, and my body is hotter for having enjoyed the bath for so long. As I get out I’m wrinkly, I’m hot and I thoroughly enjoyed my time. But now it’s time to get out of the bath.. what to do next with this hot, wrinkly, emotional mess? I am not the person I was before. So, who am I?

Time to start a new bath with new bubbles… bubbles for my husband and I. I am excited! I am sad. I am lonely. But best of all I am ready! Bring on new bubbles!!

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